We live in a life created of opposites; electrons and positrons, night and day, good and bad, positive and negative.  It’s funny how deep wisdom can be held in what sounds like a very simple statement.  But ‘every cloud has a silver lining’, is actually something I could talk about for days on end!

If a magnet is cut in half, do you know what you get?  You get two magnets.  Therefore there is always a positive and negative side to it, however you cut it.  And that is what life is like. 

The bad news is that it is not possible to have a ‘perfect’ life, with no problems, no challenges, and no set-backs.

The good news is, that life is not cruel, there will always be a ‘silver lining’ to these set-backs and challenges.

Depending on your experiences in life, this maybe a very challenging idea.  But I just ask you to imagine the client who walks in my office sure that life is cruel and they have only ever encountered hardships and tragedy, who then walks out seeing that there have been also been times of peace and kindness.  Yes, they might not have been able to see the ‘silver lining’, without my assistance, but it wasn’t imagined, and the finding of it will free them from their baggage.

We are taught to love someone despite their bad bits, and hate them despite their good bits.  It is like we walk through life with blinkers on, that hide the other side of the magnet to us.  But it is possible to see the world through new glasses, and it will have a dramatic effect on you.

How do you see it?  Well, if you went to the gym for the first time in your life, you would be a bit of a weakling, and struggle with the weights.  That is the same for finding the ‘silver lining’.  So initially, look for the easy ones, i.e. pick up the little weights, and don’t start on the big heavy ones until you have some practice. 

Ask yourself:

1. How did I benefit from this person, this event, or this challenge? 
   

2. What did I learn? 
   

3. Why is it important to me that I learnt this? 
   

4. What did I gain? 
   

5. Who would I not have met with out it? 
   

6. What would I not have done without it?
   

By the way, that does mean that there is a ‘dark’ lining to those ‘good’ events in your life!  So there is always a downside to the things that we enjoy and people we love.  The calories from the chocolate, missing our children when we go to work, panicking when the supportive friend is not around to advise us, paying the credit card bills for those clothes we bought, upsetting our partner because we are so bonded with our children, or upsetting our children because we keep our relationship as priority, not knowing how to put up a shelf or find the drill when our husband or dad is not there, and the hardest is the pain of losing a loved one who was such a big part of our lives.

So why would you look for these downsides?  Because ignored they may keep you dependent, reliant, sugar addicted (!), in debt, infatuated, obsessed, or paralysed by the fear of loss.  Faced, you can see them clearly, still love them, but not let them take away your own sense of self.

Ask yourself:

1. How did I lose out because of this person, event or challenge?
   

2. What did I not learn to do myself?
   

3. Why has that held me back?
   

4. What did I miss out on?
   

5. Who might I have met, if it wasn’t for them?
   

6. What might I have done without them?
   

Now time for the magic!

Do you remember me talking about ‘Counting your blessings’ last month?  When you add the concept of ‘Every cloud has a silver lining to it’, you can count the blessings for everything that has happened in your life, becoming even more grateful.

Why would you do this?

1. To help with conflict at work or home, because it calms as you see the other side
   

2. To centre you and relax you ready for sleep
   

3. To help you escape an infatuation that is getting in the way of you moving forward in life
   

4. To help you love the life you have rather than hurt with pain for a fantasy you do not have
   

5. To give you more energy, enthusiasm and zest for life